Where Does the Drive Come From?

Do you ever wonder where your perfectionism or inner drive comes from? Sometimes we don’t stop to consider what is happening inside of us that feeds our thoughts and behaviors.

When Everything Fell Apart

When my life hit a major snag fifteen years ago, I was so busy trying to keep it together that I barely allowed myself to notice the fears underneath my determination. Instead of focusing on the fear, I focused on the plan and the solution. At the time, I didn’t realize I was running from the toughest voice of all: my inner critic.

That critical voice was saying:

There’s something wrong with you—You are stupid—Why didn’t you see that coming??—You are ugly—You aren’t as good as they are.

Running From the Shame

Deeper inside there was shame I didn’t want to feel, and I didn’t want it exposed. It was too painful. One way I avoided that exposure was to keep moving forward. This involved early mornings, sleepless nights, and sometimes withdrawal from others. I did my best to develop my career, care for my family, and simply get to places on time. It was exhausting!

Learning to Listen

The funny thing is, that inner critic actually did a good job for a lot of years. It kept me going, and I now appreciate how powerful and helpful that inner voice really is. As I began to thoughtfully tune in, I learned more about the inner processes that help me stay focused and in connection with the people around me.

The automatic drive to take care of others and focus on work didn’t stop when I got through the crisis. I started to wonder if I would ever be able to relax and start to take care of myself — to consider what I wanted for myself. To do that, I needed to slow down and spend more time understanding why my inner critic was on hyper-alert.

A Place to Begin

Now I work with others who find themselves in a similar place. So if you’re curious about how your inner critic affects your drive for success, consider starting with these steps:

1. Find a quiet place.
2. Recall a time when your inner critic was strong.
3. Don’t stop there — notice how you manage that inner critic.
4. Invite those feelings and thoughts into the present.
5. Notice where you hold them in your body. We start with the coping, and expand from there.

Join Us

If you want to learn more, join the interest list for my webinar and workshop: Quiet the Inner Critic & Reclaim Your Voice. In this workshop, we learn how to manage internal critical voices and increase self-compassion and resilience.

Interest list: https://wellnessworkscounseling.com/free_webinerswaitlist/