Are you harder on yourself when you’re struggling?

When you experience depression, it can be easy to focus on your mistakes, criticize yourself, and feel like you’re not good enough. Understanding the connection between depression and self-criticism can help you recognize these patterns and begin building a kinder, more compassionate relationship with yourself. 

Depression Can Affect the Way You See Yourself

Depression can affect how you feel, as well as how you interpret your experiences and evaluate yourself. Depression can contribute to feelings of worthlessness, guilt, hopelessness, and inadequacy. Through these feelings, it is easier to focus on the negative aspects of life rather than the positive. You may notice and exaggerate mistakes you’ve made and feel like a failure. As you consistently view yourself through a negative lens, you may find it increasingly difficult to recognize and celebrate your strengths and accomplishments.

Self-Criticism Can Reinforce Depression

Depression and self-criticism can create a difficult cycle. Depression makes everyday tasks more challenging as you may struggle with motivation, concentration, energy, or decision-making. You may begin to notice the things that you’re struggling to do, such as household chores, work assignments, or keeping in touch with family and friends. 

As you notice these difficulties, you may lean into self-criticism, interpreting these things as failures or calling yourself lazy, irresponsible, or inadequate. And this self-criticism increases your emotional distress, validating those same feelings of worthlessness, guilt, hopelessness, and inadequacy. As these feelings intensify, your depression may worsen, making everyday challenges feel even more difficult.

Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?

There are several reasons that we may be inclined to criticize ourselves. You may have grown up in an environment where mistakes were criticized and praise was given primarily for achievement, productivity, or good behavior. You may hold yourself to unrealistic standards, struggle to recognize when you’ve done enough, or believe that making mistakes means you’ve failed. You may compare yourself to others and feel that you aren’t where we should be. Or you might believe that self-criticism is the only way to motivate yourself to change. 

Understanding where self-criticism comes from helps us recognize that we aren’t inherently inadequate or incapable. Instead, these patterns may be learned responses that have developed over time. Recognizing these patterns allows us to question whether they are helping us or making our struggles more difficult.

Getting Support

If you struggle with depression and self-criticism, Wellness Works Counseling offers professional support to help you manage these challenges. Therapy can help you recognize patterns of negative self-talk, explore where these patterns originated, and develop healthier ways of responding to yourself. 

You don’t have to navigate depression alone, and you don’t have to criticize yourself into feeling better. With support, you can learn to recognize your strengths, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.